Jesus back for 2013 NZ Singlespeeds...

Breaking news – Christ enters New Zealand Singlespeed Championships 2013

 

Jesus Christ has announced He will race in the 2013 Pig & Whistle New Zealand Singlespeed Champs on Saturday April 27.

Christ made the decision after rising early in Jerusalem in Israel, this morning.

He explained his reasoning at a hastily called media conference at the Dome of the Rock.

“Mum and I were discussing the best time to come back,” says the bearded, long-haired Son of God. “With everything going on in the world - and in cycling - it seemed now was about right.”

Christ is an admirer of Singlespeeding.

“There is a purity and simplicity about One Gear,” he adds with a beatific smile. “It kind of syncs well with my own philosophy of how I want to live my life.”

Singlespeeding is also about colourful costumes.

“Not sure about flowing robes on a bike, but I might give Joseph a call about borrowing his coat,” continues Christ. “One thing definitely out is lycra – not even I can get that right.”

A tradition of Singlespeeding is the winner receives a tattoo. One of the starters at this year’s champs will be Rotorua rider, Garth Weinberg, 2010 Singlespeed World Champion.

“Our nickname for Garth is ‘God’”, says Christ, with a chuckle. “I’ll be leaving the tattoo, or as the Maori call them, Ta Moko, to him.”

When asked why He’d chosen New Zealand to make his comeback to competitive cycling, Christ quoted Top Gear presenter, Jeremy Clarkson.

After a recent visit to New Zealand, Clarkson wrote in the UK Sunday Times: “If you were God and you were all-powerful, you wouldn't select Bethlehem as a suitable birthplace for your only child…. And you certainly wouldn't let him grow up anywhere in the Holy Land. What you'd actually do is choose New Zealand.”

Christ laughs when he describes how this had inspired Him.

“Well, JC thinks he’s God, but in this case Mum and I had to agree that for resurrecting my cycling career, we couldn’t choose a place closer to mountain biking in paradise than Rotorua in Aotearoa, New Zealand.” he says. "And today's the last day to enter if you want an event t-shirt."

 

More to follow…

 

The event website is: www.rotoruasinglespeed.com 

 

Rotorua Singlespeed Society

Thanks to our partner the Pig & Whistle Historic Pub.

And to friendly locals: First Sovereign, Agroventures, Events & Venues Rotorua, Fotoengineers, 

Home of Cycling, Kiwibikes, Let's Ride, Magellan Whaka 100, Mountain Bike Rotorua, 

New Zealand Mountain Biker, Nzo, OGO Rotorua, Polynesian Spa, Watties,

YHA Rotorua, bluedog media, graememurray.com

 

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